Us

I've always written in diaries. With the birth of high-speed internet access in most homes, I ventured into online journaling on and off for over 10 years now. LiveJournal. MySpace, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram. I'm a sucker for sharing parts of my life with friends and family and strangers. It's one of my favorite things in the world to then look back at my memories for reflection, to coo over memories, to remember little moments, and to see how much I've grown.

Me & A, age 1 month.

I feel like this newest chapter of mine, the parenting one, is going to be the longest, most exhausting, most rewarding one yet. Already I feel like so much time has gone by, and I lament every single moment passed.

Motherhood, so far, (I'm 8 months in), has been a series of fleeting moments.

Me & A, age 2 months.

There are some moments that feel like will never end, the ones where she's up all night. The ones where she won't stop crying or whining. The ones where she's sick and I can't do much to help her. These are struggles that honestly feel like they are never-ending. But then they're gone. In a blink, they have passed and it's as if so much time has gone by.

Me & A, age 3 months.

There are days where I'm watching her play, she's either in her playpen or in her bouncer, looking at a toy intently, twisting it in her little hands, and I realize just how much she's changed in our short amount of time together. She's entertaining herself. In this moment, she is completely enthralled with her stimulus before her.

A, age 4 months.

So many moments have passed, and there are still so many moments left to experience together. I don't want to miss or forget a single second of it. Because before I know it, she'll be a moody teenager. She'll be leaving the house to go to college, to start a career, to get married, to have kids. This is the goal, though, right? To get her to be self-sufficient. But I'm already lamenting the time we've lost.

David & A, age 8 months.

We're at a point in our lives where David can stay home with her while he works. He's currently in the writing stages of his dissertation. That means that he has already designed and implemented his research plan, collected data. Now he's analyzing and writing. Theoretically, that's what he's doing. What he's ACTUALLY doing is singing made-up songs, changing diapers, rocking the baby, and reading/writing notes on his phone while she sleeps in his arms. While it means that the date of completion for his project may be pushed back some or it may mean that nights approaching deadlines are spent hunched over a computer in a coffee shop late at night, pounding out last-minute pages, he wouldn't trade it for the world. Because he gets to spend all of these moments with her. He gets to witness her "firsts". He gets to be the dad that raises her.

A, age 8 months. 

We're doing our best.